Spring (Has Sprung)

It is the perfect spring day in Melbourne.

Just outside my house, the trees are coming back to life, and words are insufficient to describe how beautiful the many shades of green are that capture the eye.

The little leaves on the trees are sprouting what can only be described as a milky baby green colour, soaking in the sunlight like a thirsty child. Contrast that to the solemn dark green of the pine trees, so dense that sunlight can find no way through to the soft green grass below.

My photos scarcely do justice to what a beautiful day it is outside today. You could almost hear God sighing in contentment if you stood still enough.

Spring (Has Sprung)

Sometimes if you open your eyes, few places have the comparable beauty of Melbourne in Spring time. The sky is a uniform blue, complimented by the green of the leaves sprouting again from their winter slumber. The sunlight dances uninhibited through the cloudless skies, illuminating the trees and casting firm shadows across the grass.

Nothing is better than a good book, a cheesecake, a hot chocolate, and the weight of the world far away from you, if only for a brief hour or two.

Alice In Wonderland: Following the White Rabbit Into....

... a very painful death of your childhood memories.

I remember how as a little child we would make our way to our local grocer/Chinese herbalist shop where we would get this White Rabbit Creamy Candy. This is one of China's most popular exported candy and why wouldn't it be - it was white, it felt like you were chewing bunnies, it was creamy, and it was one hell of a candy!

The sweet itself is really interesting - once you unwrap the outside wrapper you're confronted with a thin, transclucent, edible paper-like wrapping. I remember my initial frustrations as a child, trying to separate the transparent layer from the sweet. It was only when someone pointed out to me that I could eat that layer (lah, bodoh!) that I began to truly enjoy this candy. The initial melting of the first layer as your warm saliva dissolves it to reveal the vanilla candy within that tastes like solidified condensed milk - ah! Heaven in your mouth!

Which is why recent reports of this candy being tainted with the kidney-killing melamine means that my child will have to forego the pleasures of this creamy bunny delight. Oh well, he'll have to drink straight out of a non-China imported condensed milk can for his sugar fix instead.

(All those who made Milo with condensed milk sandwiches as a child, please stand up.)

Watching Good Movies (So That You Have To)

When I first saw the trailer for Wall-E, I wasn't really too impressed. A garbage collecting robot. Who on earth sat around Disney/Pixar's think table and went "Eureka! Let's make a story about a robot garbage compactor!"

But Eureka indeed. I measure how good a movie is by how many people remain seated at the end of the movie. I counted only one. The rest of the cinema sat transfixed, still lingering in this wonderful other world that was created for us.

Anyone who knows me knows my fascination with space and this movie dealt with it just beautifully. There were many other themes considered as well in this wonderfully thought out movie. This was animation at its bravest and Pixar have certainly pushed boundaries with Wall-E.

I'll keep my peace. Go watch it. And look out for the delightful short movie at the start!

(P.S. Eve = Mac, Wall-E = Microsoft PC. Watch it and see if you agree with me!)

Love Languages

Love Language No. 2: Quality Time

Have you ever been out on a date with someone, and then a call comes in for him or her, and your date starts to talk as if you weren't there? There is the occasional slow glance towards you, and the immediate head snap back, looking away while they carry on their conversation.

You sit there trying to look non-chalant, smiling occasionally and wondering when the heck he/she is going to get off the phone. The most appropriate thing to do for non-urgent calls is to actually say "Hey, you know what, I'm out now with a friend, can I call you back later?" and then hang up.

We can be with someone but not be with someone. It is really important (though not always easy) to be present when you are out with someone.

And here we come to our second love language - quality time.

It is a curse of our modern day society that time is often the one thing that we don't have - work and other responsiblities take a lot out of us as people. Difficult decisions will need to be made regarding what's important to us, and how we allocate our time will reflect our priorities. What's the point of making all that money for your family if you sacrifice your family in the process?

Quality Talk


I remember one article in Reader's Digest once upon a time saying how we don't really listen nowadays - we're just waiting for our turn to talk. Being the loudmouth that I am sometimes, I am guilty of this too. You know the one - "Uh huh, mm hmm... Well, there was that time when I..." and then you launch into this whole story about something funny that happened to you.

The whole art of conversation - the non-verbal cues, the eye contact, the active listening - these are all important qualities that you need to develop over time.

I have a friend from high school who was one of the most intent listener ever. He will listen to what you have to say, and then pause, and you could see him actively processing what you say, and then come up with something relevant and comforting. It was always nice hanging out with him. And then I have my rapid-fire friends as well, who talk faster than they think, who I love all the same, but whom you developed less meaningful friendships with.

Grunt

As a guy, I understand completely sometimes the need to not talk. When you come home from a crappy day at work, and you slump into your chair, and then when your partner or family member asks you how your day was, your answer is "Urgh". Or "Okay" as your eyes glaze over.

Most men are just not natural talkers. We can't express ourselves because of the age old stereotype of the strong and silent kind. Talking equals complaining sometimes, and that, to us, is a sign of weakness. We keep it bottled up instead, taking it out on the drivers who overtake us on the road! (This one's for you, my honk-one-person-a-day friend!)

Gary Chapman recommends in his book that we make a list of the thing that happened to us in our day, and how we felt about it. It's like homework, isn't it? But soon, it will come more naturally, and make us more aware of how things affect us, but also give us grounds for more than an "Ugh".

Quality Activities

We are all diverse in our interests - some of us like the great outdoors, others prefer the great indoors, some like movies and plays while others will like concerts, mosh pits and their favourite artistes biting heads off bats.

The best thing about being in any relationship is the capacity for growth, absorbing each other's interests and learning things you would otherwise be oblivious to.

There is a whole list of recommendation at the end of Gary Chapman's chapter, but my favourite one is going on a long drive, which allows you to spend time talking to the other person.

Most of the memories and some of the most memorable conversations I've ever had were in a car, parked alongside a dark street, the engine running, the street lamps silent witnesses - or on a trip to somewhere far away or the local restaurant. Our family was always one for talking in cars.

So, is this your primary love language?

Love Languages

How To Save A Wife (and Other Relationships)

Can you remember the last time you felt loved? When you truly felt warmth on the inside, felt the sudden euphoria and genuine love for the world in return?

And do you know why it is that you can tell someone till you're blue in the face that you love them and yet they're still uninterested, or lavish them with gifts, and yet they still feel unloved?

There is a very interesting theory brought forward by Gary Chapman in his Love Languages series, a Christian author who surmises that different people have very different love languages.

These love languages apply across the board, and do not only pertain to romantic love - it will exist in all forms of interactions: family, friends, colleagues.

He has categorised it into five distinct groups: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, and finally, Physical Touch. Each of us has a primary, or a main, love language which we respond to, and it would have been influenced by the examples of love taught to us growing up.

You can learn in time, however, to learn most people's love language if you observe close enough, and how to speak it.

Love Language No. 1: Words of Affirmation

Today we will start by looking at Words of Affirmation. This is one for the Asian kids, who often don't hear it enough!

This is your primary love language if you respond well to compliments, or validation for work well done. You will remember every nice thing that someone has said to you before, and you feel loved when praised.

You also react more negatively to criticism, like the old nursery rhyme "Sticks and stones will break your bones, and names will do the same too."

When we're talking about words of affirmation here, we're not talking about general niceties:

"That's gooood....."

"That was.... nice."

"You look nice toady." (especially the toady part. Stupid typo!)

or my Asian favourite "Yeah, not bad." or "Okay whaaaat..."

That's where the phrase 'damning with faint praise' comes from. A non-genuine, half-hearted comment can feel just as bad as being not complimented at all.

The way to a WoA person is to be specific with praise, ie:

"I'm really proud of the way you helped out with the dishes today. Sure, you shouldn't have washed the toaster while it was still plugged in, but honey, I am just glad you tried. Nurse!?! He's passing out again!"

"Is that a new haircut? I love the way the highlights in your hair just catch your eyes." (no, this is not a lyric taken from Lady In Red. No, not at all. *cough*)

"That dress does not make you look fat, honey. You make the dress look thin." (If you can't convince them, confuse them.)

But in all seriousness, be genuine when it comes to complimenting someone, and look out for something nice they've done to themselves or for you.

Simple phrases like "I trust you." "I love you." "You make me proud." can have a real changing effect on a WoA person when said with sincere belief. The words don't always need to be said. You can write it to them in a note or a letter.

The only thing that bugs me about this love language is that, being Asian, we just don't know how to take a compliment! This false humility/low self-esteem is almost programmed into us:-

"Noooo lah, hee hee hee...."

"Yeah, but I'm not as smart as you lah!"

or the Christianspeak favourite"...by the grace of God, lah (true, but still!)... "

I just wish sometimes we could just give a grateful smile, a nod of the head, a simple "Thanks!" and just accept the compliment.

So, is this your primary love language?

Enough To Make Mum Proud

Dear Mum,

Heng Wai and Doreen cooked this. (ie. Doreen did all the work and Heng Wai just came it right at the end to say "Just a bit more salt. Perfect.")

Har Mee. And beef balls. Combined into one. It's like kissing your first love.

See what I mean.

My brother and his girlfriend have been experimenting to make certain Malaysian dishes, and some have been really successful. This Har Mee was especially good. The secret ingredient? There is no secret ingredient. (Kung Fu Panda reference! Ka-Pow!) No, it's actually fish sauce in the soup.

By virtue of their experimenting, I've had the pleasure of eating their Char Kway Teow experiments, their Bak Kut Teh trials and so on. That's me... the Gluttony Guinea Pig. Armnyamnyamnyamnyamnyam!

Angels and Ordinary Men

My brother is in the country this week for his work, and he rang me tonight to tell me this story:-

So, I walked into one of the local cafes for lunch, and pulled up a chair by myself. I noticed a three year old girl, right, who was trying to do break-dance, you know? She had her little head on the carpet and was trying to turn around. Her mum was nearby with some friends of hers, catching up over lunch.

The little girl then got up to the chair next to her mother, and, then, for no particular reason, turned her head around to look at me.

She saw that I was alone, and so she asked, "Where's your family?"

I blushed, and stammered how I was here for work.

The little girl then got off her chair, and walked towards my table. She tried to pull the chair next to me, but it was too big for her. I gave her a hand, and she clambered her way up the chair next to me.

She talked to me for a brief moment before reaching for the menu with her little hands and trying to read the menu. En - try! she would read aloud the word entree.

the way to a man's bread

Soon, my curry crab chowder came, with bread on its side, and she looked interested in my lunch. "What's that?" she said, pointing at it. "Oh, it's curry chowder. And there's some bread to go with it," I patiently explained.

"What's that?" she asked, pointing at the bread.

"It's bread," I repeated.

"What's that?" "It's bread."

"What's that?" "It's.... would you like some bread?"

"Yes, please."

I gave her some bread and she chewed at it, pleased as punch. "I like bread," she smiled.

I finished my lunch, and my dessert arrived - a lemon tart with strawberries, and mint sauce on the side.

"What's that?"

"Would you like a strawberry," I said, wise to her now.

"Yes, please. I like strawberries," she beamed in all her 3 year old glory.

hide-and-seek

There was nothing that I would not have given her, and she was eating her strawberry contentedly when she noticed another family getting up to leave. There were kids in that family, and they were playing a brief game of hide-and-seek as they were leaving.

She got off the chair in tiny tot stages, and rushed to join the children.

"Now, now, dear," her mother said. "They're leaving."

"Okay," she said, returning to my side. I was still in the process of polishing off my dessert, when she looked up at me and said, excitedly... "Let's play hide and seek!"

"Oh well, I don't know..." I was in my business suit, you know, and I really didn't want to go playing hide-and-seek in formal attire! And so I stayed in my chair.

But she didn't hear me, her little hands were folded over the table, and her little head was resting on it, and she was counting out loud, in all seriousness - "One, two, free, six, twelve, six, ten!" and then quickly lifted her head and scampered under the chair. "Iiii seeeee youuu....." she laughed, pointing at my not so obvious hiding place. "Tag, you're it!"

"Well done!" I said.

"Do you know how to play hide-and-seek or not?" she asked. "All you have to do is hide, and I count to ten, and then I find you and touch you and say "Tag, you're it!"

"Your turn now!" she exclaimed, having explained the rules to me.

I counted out loud, "One, two, three, four..."

"You're not closing your eyes!" she protested from behind me. "Okay, okay!" I gave in, one hand closing the left eye and my right hand angled to look like it was closing my right one, when I was actually scooping dessert into my mouth.

'...nine, ten!!' I caught Mum and her friends laughing, and as I turned around I could see why. There she was standing next to a potted plant that was just slightly taller than herself. "I can see you!" Mum said, and the girl walked out smiling sheepishly.

"Okay, again! Start counting!" I was looking at my watch this time and getting out of my chair, making apologies to Mum that I had to leave for work. She was apologising profusely in return for having her little angel bother me.

take one hardened heart, and pop it in the oven for 15 minutes at 210 Farenheit...

"B_____!" she said to her daughter. "This nice man's got to leave, okay? He's got to go to work!"

Her little feet stopped their journey to her next hiding place, and she turned around. "You got to go?" she said, disappointed. "Let me give you a hug."

And I walked gingerly towards this little darling, and got on one knee and gave her big hug. I almost didn't want to let go.

"You have an astonishing little daughter," I said to her mother. "What's her name?" She gave her name. "Well, ten years from now, I'm going to be looking her up," I said, not realising how inappropriate it sounded. The mother and her friends laughed out with a slight nervousness, although they knew what I meant.

I walked away from the restaurant, my heart in a puddle. And for the rest of the day, I was just basking around in the glow that this little angel left me, and her love just diffused out into the people around me.

I wanted to be part of this girl's life, you know? I wanted to watch her grow up, and see where life would take her.

But then I realised, for forty blessed minutes, at least, I was part of her life.

- Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.- Matthew 19:13-15 NIV

The Weight Of The World

So, hypothetically... imagine this: It is twenty years in the future, and we have no more petrol. Yes, we have invented the cars that run on hydrogen or electricity but there is nothing to power the planes.

The whole world, as globalised as it is, will require each individual to decide on one continent to remain in for the rest of their lives.

Would you choose: i) where you're currently living in or ii) to go back where you were originally from or iii) to move to a new continent altogether to start a new life.

You have one choice. Your time starts now.

Random Memories: Nine Years Old

I remember one evening when I fell asleep on the couch downstairs while watching G.I. Joe. I don't know how I did it, but I fell asleep on my right side, and my right ear had folded onto itself.

When I woke up, my right ear was blocked. I couldn't hear out of it at all. I told this to Mum, and she told me to go and get something to try and clean out my ears.

Being the sophisticated household that we were, we didn't have cotton buds as such, so I improvised by tearing a small piece of cotton and wrapping it around a toothpick.

I valiantly attempted to clear my ears then but with little effect. I persisted at it, but my mind was wandering elsewhere at the same time, and I saw my brother reading an Archie comic on the couch. I crawled up behind him on the head of the couch and was reading the exploits of Jughead over my brother's shoulder, my head tilted to my right, when I inadvertently pushed three quarters of the toothpick into my ear.

I pulled it out as quick as I could, and bits of cotton came out with it, but suddenly I developed this throbbing noise in my ear. I panicked and told Mum, who wasn't too pleased with me.

A church auntie had to take me to see an ENT specialist a few days later. I remember the doctor whipping out a chart of the otitis externa (outer ear) and trying to explain to her where the toothpick would have gone, and why I'm hearing this throbbing in my ear, and how there was nothing that he could do at that stage.

It took a whole year to improve, this throbbing in my right ear.

Sometimes, in the early morning when I was standing in the school bus, too tired to start the day, and hanging on for dear life at the same time, I would close my eyes and hear the rhythmic throbbing, and imagine a cute little teddy bear riding a choo-choo train in my ear. This is exactly how the bear looked like in my mind's eye. Freaky.

This Weekend

This has been a really eventful weekend.

It started off on Saturday, where I met a friend from work for breakfast at Tom Phat, this wonderful little fusion cafe just minutes away from where I live. She showed me pictures from her trip to Kokoda , which is in Papua New Guinea, and is really an important landmark to the Australians here. It was a whole different world, far removed from the comforts of modern day society and the need for money.

I spent the afternoon mulling over a replacement phone and finally decided on this one.



The new Nokia N95 8GB. Looks like a camera, functions really well as one too. And not a bad media player. I'm still learning new things about the phone, but I'll just say that I'm moderately happy at this moment. I didn't get the iPhone because it would be locked to Telstra, and I don't think that I would have been able to use it back home in Malaysia.

I joined some long lost IMU juniors in I.H. on Saturday. Sad to say, I was the oldest there, and it is getting more and more obvious that someone is getting old. *erhemm*. The night itself was fun (we had a steamboat dinner, which was just perfect) but towards the end of the night, they were like, "Batch photo!" and I was the only one from my batch there. *sniff* *sniff* *tear falls over a wrinkled eye*

Sunday morning was church for me, and it was a good opportunity to catch up with a few church friends. But the highlight of the weekend must have been Sunday night, where we did this:

Stood around and did nothing.

No... it was a really interesting murder mystery night organised by one of my friends here. Given, it was a very Western concept (I can't imagine hosting one like this for friends) but it was really interesting.

We were faxed details about a week ago about the whole scenario - we would be role playing characters trapped in a ski lodge because were snowed in. A death has happened in the lodge, and we had to find out who was the murderer.

We each had information of our own, and special abilities to be used, and there were many other mini-stories to be unravelled as the night wore on. It was a really unique experience, and we had the most amazing home made pizzas as well... which was actually worked into the play, so it was altogether a really interesting night!
It was Colonel Mustard in the living room with the candlestick.
The aftermath. They served up killer (pun badly intended) homemade pizzas and we had really yummy cheesecake after.

No-bituary

Nokia 8210. Faithful friend over the past six years, having withstood six feet drops, multiple attempts to drown it, and innumerable amounts of ridicule.

(I remember a friend I met last year who burst out laughing when I brought out this phone, and said "You ah, embarass me also you know, bring out a phone like that!" Hahaha! Ouch.)

(I remember being accosted by a bunch of drunkards at about 1 a.m. one Friday morning. I was sending an sms, and they snatched the phone from me and started being difficult. Luckily, my friends ran to my aid. He threw it to the ground, turned around in drunken disgust, and said, 'It's not even one with a camera anyway.')

(At least it survived him hurling it to the ground.)

This phone would fit into the empty window armrest slot in my car, it would wake me up every morning, and fit snugly into my hands. My Snake high score of 1620 still sits there, as do my pinball high scores. It's alarm would wake me up every morning. It still houses smses from six years ago.

(Wei, all the best for tomorrow. Dun worry, if no one wants to marry u, i'll be there 4 u! Hehe. ****** here! C u when I get back.)

But old age begin to show - the battery was suicidal, dying at the most inappropriate times, and the final straw was when the buttons refused to work.

And so I say goodbye today to and old, and faithful friend, as resistant to change as its owner. Goodbye, monochromic Nokia. Have a long, well-earned rest.