Awake Is The New Sleep

I have had an average of six hours sleep in the past 48 hours but I feel just fine, you know... I'm not the slightest bit sleeeupash;dfN;Fyh8f['/f/ ynqffyhqayfh.

(Sorry, that was my head hitting the keyboard.)

Finally the bout of long nights is over and I can return to being a normal human once again.
Which explains why I am up at two in the morning typing this.

I've just realised I haven't written a flashback piece since this one last year!

Thing No. 6: The Boy Goes To School (Darjah Dua)

As primary school children growing up, what's really important wasn't so much what we learnt in class or how we cheated in our tests, but the games that we played long before the assembly bell would ring and immediately after the dismissal bell has gone.

I am going to dedicate this section to the card games we used to play growing up:

Donkey/Old Maid

Every player is dealt a hand of cards with pictures of animals/people on the cards, each with a twin in the deck. All similar picture cards were then paired and then placed face down. Each player then takes a turn in taking a remaining card from the person to his left and tries to form a pair. Of all the cards, two would contain the dreaded Old Maid or Donkey card.

All cards would be face down at the end of the game except the Donkey or the Old Maid cards and then the unlucky person who remains with both cards is called the Donkey or Old Maid.

No big deal, one would think. Not to a seven year old. Man, being called a donkey is bad enough, but surely Old Maid in a boys' school would be really inappropriate (and gender confusing).

The whole fun in the game is waiting for your opponent to blindly move his hand across your deck and then pick the Old Maid or Donkey card.

Veteran players of the card game would feign disappointment as if the other player picked a non-Donkey/Old Maid card and then burst out in evil laughter looking at the face of the other person as they turn the card around to reveal the dreaded card.

If you were actually an old maid playing this card game, maybe it wouldn't be so bad? Pic from timewarptoys.com

Snap!

This sado-masochistic game of reflex is played with the cards above and the aim is to collect as many cards as you can.

Each player is dealt an amount of cards as evenly as possible, and with the cards face down in a pile, they would take turns to open the top card into a pile in the middle. When two similar cards appear, the quickest player to react and put his hand on top of the pile of cards first wins the pile.

The card game is named as such because Snap! is the sound of the tiny bones in your hand breaking as all the other players who were a second slower to react than you pile their collective hands on yours. Like the fists of vengeful gods they would bear down upon your hand.

I was going to be a gifted piano player before I started playing this game.

Happy Family

Happy Family was a game where there were about thirteen sets of 'families' - each with a father, a mother, a brother and a sister.

They were differentiated by professions, although I can't even remember one complete set. Let's say, for example, there would be

Mr. Ribald Romancecovermodel

Mrs. Risque Romancecovermodel

Randy Romancecovermodel (son)

Raunchy Romancecovermodel (daughter)

and that would make one happy family.

The cards were shuffled and distributed to all players, and the aim would be to get a complete Happy Family set by taking turns to ask any player, for example

"Do you have... Raunchy Romancecovermodel, please?"

And if the answer was 'yes', then you would get the card and then say 'Thank you!' in your most smug voice. It was all guesswork, and you would get a second chance to ask any other player for any member of any family.

Once you collect the complete set, you get to put them together in a pile and then proudly declare "One happy family at home!".

There were a few rules with the game:

1) I can't believe this, but you actually had to be polite when you asked your question.

If you forget to say 'Please' or 'Thank You' then the person would yell 'Hoh, you never said please! Or you never said Thank You!' and then take the card back from you and you miss your turn.

That would be proceeded by a 'You stupid dum dum!' and a cackle from the other player, which, of course, was in all politeness.

2) Once you had a happy family you have to quickly say "One Happy Family at home!". If another player points out you didn't say it, then you have to return your last card to its owner and wait another turn to ask him the same stupid question again.

3) Different people had different levels of anal-retentiveness with the game -

Some players would settle for 'Could I please have the father of Romancecovermodel' or ' the daughter of Romancecovermodel'. Others wanted full names and titles and the worst ones would want date of birth, horoscope, shoe size and favorite color. (I'm kidding, there's no such details).

The player at the end of the game with the most Happy Families won. And then they would enjoy school for the rest of the day before returning to their own dysfunctional little families.

The Modern Happy Family from labourhome.org. Click for a bigger look.