Flipping Your First Digit Part 1

Since I had the absolute pleasure of working fifteen hours on my birthday, K decided that we would bring forward the celebrations to the Friday before.

Here's how the day unfolded:

1) This is Spa-rta!

So where are we going? I ask Karen in the morning.

I don't want to tell you, she said, a much repeated phrase throughout the day.

We made a wonderful roundabout trip to end up in St Kilda Baths, where I was treated to this:

Yes, that's right folks, K hired me my very own topless woman.

No, no, I was treated to a (very manly) spa treatment session, which was an absolute luxury for me. This was my first time ever in a spa, and so I walked really uncomfortably in the provided cotton bathrobe and slippers, feeling very much in my birthday (haha!) suit.

I spent the next half an hour in a jacuzzi, by myself, thinking about life while jets of hot salted water made its way to every nook and cranny of my body. (My apologies to my readers who like to visualise as they read).

There was a soft knock on the door half an hour later, an indication from my massage therapist Irene that she was ready whenever I was.

And so I dried myself, and opened the door to the awaiting Irene, who brought me to this other room where I was told to make myself comfortable on the table, face down.

I have never been so comfortable face down on a table before.

She started off with the Back Polishing, where she literally sprinkled sea salt over my back, and then started spreading the salt with her hands and kneading it into me, marinating me as if I were a huge piece of thirty-year old meat about to be cooked for some giant's dinner.

Fe Fi Fo Fum,
I smell the blood of a Chinese bum. 

(Once again, apologies to my readers who take everything literally and like to visualise as they read.)

After half an hour of scrubbing, she then proceeded to my hour long massage, where she began to work firmly on every part of my body. And by every part of my body I mean...

...excluding my private areas.

(My apologies to all my rea... never mind.)

It was a really good massage, although I think I will need it every week for the rest of my life, but I don't think I can ever afford the luxury. And luxury it was indeed, as I was spoilt that morning in a way that I haven't been spoilt until...

Well, until... that night.