Thoughts On Turning Thirty

Then and Now: You can't see it, but in my adult picture I am actually just wearing shorts tucked in the same way.

There are places I remember,
All my life, though some have changed.

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In several days' time, I will be turning the big three O. I will be spending it in the best way possible - fifteen straight hours at work, and the only cake I'll be getting is a big slice of reality.

I will no longer be able to refute any more little children when they call me Uncle from now on. I will just have to smile and accept it as I grab their Pokemon toy from them and throw it into the bushes with my thirty year old arms.

On our travels to Europe, as we rubbed shoulders with people from a different culture, the one thing that struck me most was how many people there were on this earth.

Six billion people. God did promise Abraham in the Bible that his children would number as many as there were stars in the skies, and if we're not there yet, let me just say that we are well and truly on our way.

It is in this sea of people that I stand, a drop in the ocean, a single alphabet in the telephone directory of life. It is easy to feel overwhelmed by how small I actually am, and to question my worth in the context of this world.

The eternal questions surface - Why am I here? What is my purpose in this life?

And then in the midst of all the searching and self-doubt, there is an answer, small, but clear, a tiny bell ringing out in the silence.

I am my mother and late father's son. I am my sibling's brother. I am the nephew and cousin of my relatives. I am hopefully a good enough friend to those I have the privilege of calling friends. I am K's lover, confidant and soulmate.

All my life I have been identified as such, Mr. Cheok's son, Joseph's or Grace's brother, ____'s friend, Karen's boyfriend.

My life is defined by the people I matter to, who matter to me.

And as such, I want to thank all of you for loving me through the years, and watching me grow from that little boy to the big child I am today.

Thank you for sharing your stories with me, and being part of my life story as well. I hope I get to keep writing our stories for another thirty years to come, at least.

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In my life, I love you more.