Thursday, March 25, 2010

Thoughts On Turning Thirty


Then and Now: You can't see it, but in my adult picture I am actually just wearing shorts tucked in the same way.

There are places I remember,
All my life, though some have changed.

***********************************

In several days' time, I will be turning the big three O. I will be spending it in the best way possible - fifteen straight hours at work, and the only cake I'll be getting is a big slice of reality.

I will no longer be able to refute any more little children when they call me Uncle from now on. I will just have to smile and accept it as I grab their Pokemon toy from them and throw it into the bushes with my thirty year old arms.

On our travels to Europe, as we rubbed shoulders with people from a different culture, the one thing that struck me most was how many people there were on this earth.

Six billion people. God did promise Abraham in the Bible that his children would number as many as there were stars in the skies, and if we're not there yet, let me just say that we are well and truly on our way.

It is in this sea of people that I stand, a drop in the ocean, a single alphabet in the telephone directory of life. It is easy to feel overwhelmed by how small I actually am, and to question my worth in the context of this world.

The eternal questions surface - Why am I here? What is my purpose in this life?

And then in the midst of all the searching and self-doubt, there is an answer, small, but clear, a tiny bell ringing out in the silence.

I am my mother and late father's son. I am my sibling's brother. I am the nephew and cousin of my relatives. I am hopefully a good enough friend to those I have the privilege of calling friends. I am K's lover, confidant and soulmate.

All my life I have been identified as such, Mr. Cheok's son, Joseph's or Grace's brother, ____'s friend, Karen's boyfriend.

My life is defined by the people I matter to, who matter to me.

And as such, I want to thank all of you for loving me through the years, and watching me grow from that little boy to the big child I am today.

Thank you for sharing your stories with me, and being part of my life story as well. I hope I get to keep writing our stories for another thirty years to come, at least.

*************************

In my life, I love you more.

13 comments:

AnthonyLKK said...

Happy Birthday Mr Cheok! Have a good 30years old birthday!

Mine will be celebrated in Great Barrier Reef this year! (didnt plan it on purpose but yea...)

LiveByFaith79 said...

Hallo Uncle Cheok,

Welcome to the big 3-OOOOOO .... One thing Ive learnt about being in the loop is this:

We will always be young at heart... :)

so there...:)

Selamat HariJadi ke-tiga puluh...:)

mellowdramatic said...

Ant - Haha! Thanks, man! Wow! A Great Barrier Reef holiday! Take me with you!

I want to swim with Australian mermaids! (Oops, Karen reads this blog too... Sorry hon! I love you!)

D - Thanks, D! You don't have to worry - one part of my heart is always stuck at the age of five, and it surfaces from time to time (ie. every five minutes).

But you're a great example of someone young at heart indeed! So what I really want t...

*hK is distracted by the booger he has just excavated.*

eelainee said...

love your post!!! very inspiring...


happy 30-year-old...

ps: u guys met up? chenhoe, kiley...

i missed the chance to see u all while i visited mel... :(

but i m sure there is another chance... right?

"papa!" ha!

LiveByFaith79 said...

yewww.... jijik-nya *pengsan

Hope you like the surplise we prepred for ya..:)

hahaha... all this while, i thought u kneww... :)

LiveByFaith79 said...

oh no.. Age 5.. wasnt' that the year u went off to kinders wihout ur ... *ahem..

is history going to repeat itself again? hahhahaahahahha *wink ... I'm sure this time K will be the one running with the ****... hahahaa

K said...

Haha. No D, I won't be running out with the ****, I would be whipping out my camera to take pictures!

mellowdramatic said...

eelaine - Haha! Thanks for the wishes... Actually long time before people called me Uncle, you've already called me "Papa" already!

When did you come down to Melbourne? Let us know the next time you come okay?

Yeah... Met up Chen Hoe with Kiley when he came down from US. Quite fun catching up after all these years!

mellowdramatic said...

D - Yeah, it was a wonderful surprise! I will write about it when I'm not working!

Wah lau... You don't go and tell my **** story lah! Hahaha!

K - Beebee... I thought you were on my side! Taking pictures of me without my ****!

Not that that would be the first time I have been photographed in my birthday suit, as most of you would have (unfortunately) witnessed that night.

LiveByFaith79 said...

*burst out laughing****... ahahahaha.... hahaha...

LiveByFaith79 said...

wish we can have a "family trip" away how how how?

Anonymous said...

CHK,

Happy belated birthday. I was on leave yesterday for my own birthday and modem was down at home so could not log on to wish you. Have a great decade ahead!

30th March

mellowdramatic said...

Dear 30th March,

Happy 30th to you too! Man, aren't you lucky that you had your 30th off! I worked all the way through mine! *sob sob*

It was a great one though! Have a great decade ahead too! Bring on the thirties!