Other People's Love Stories

Matters of the Heart - Triangular Love

Another love story I picked up from a conversation with another friend, and I thank them all for their honesty. In telling their story, I hope to come to some understanding of why we sometimes love the way we do.

Beginning with L

I was twenty something at the time lah you know and his parents were friends of my parents, and that's how we met at a gathering.

He was the whole package, man! - Good looking, rich, drove a flash car, smooth with his words - everything a girl could want lah you know.

He was studying overseas at that time, so when he left, we wrote to each other by e-mail lah. Almost everyday. He would occasionally call me on weekends as well, and we would talk for hours on end.

He visited me every time he returned and we would go on these dates out together. It was during one of these dates that I found out he already had a girlfriend.

Yeah, stupid, right?

How she came to know

I had brought out a friend of mine to meet him, and although we had a good time that night, she told me later lah that she had some reservations about him.

Now that I think about it, there was something peculiar about how the night had ended. He had asked her for her phone number as he dropped her off. Of course I thought nothing about it at that time lah.

He rang my friend later and dropped the bomb to her that he was in a relationship.

A steady girlfriend for three years, you know! Three years! He wanted to tell me but didn't know how, and so wanted her to tell me instead! What's wrong with you men ah?!

I was naturally fuming when I found out, and asked him lah why he never told me about it before!

His reasoning was that the whole time we were corresponding, I never once asked him whether he had a girlfriend. I thought that you would volunteer that kind of information, wouldn't you?

He said that he could never leave his girlfriend, as they had been through a lot of thick and thin together. He told me that if I only knew half of the things he had done, I would walk out on him. His girlfriend, however, wouldn't.

Give me 20 Good Reasons

Why did I stay in the relationship?

Don't know. I guess I was young and he was charming, and I still felt lah like this could somehow work out, him and I.

I did try many times to end it, but he would say things like "Can we at least remain friends, because what we share is special and I don't want to lose it."

We would stay friends, and write to each other again, and then it would escalate into a relationship, descend into arguments, leading into a breakup and the whole cycle would repeat itself again.

The Fourth Party

One day, another friend had something to tell me.

This friend's older brother was arguing with his girlfriend, a Eurasian chick whom he met at a club some time ago. This girl returned to the club to let off some steam, where she met this current guy that I was dating, and he chatted her up. They hit it off and started writing to each other.

He was sending her mushy smses and writing her loving e-mails behind my back, you know, the bastard! Thankfully, the Eurasian girl finally called it off as she wanted to work things through with her boyfriend.

I was pissed off as hell when I found out, and I confronted him! How could he cheat on me, the third party, with another girl now! He didn't know what to say.

But I still couldn't let go of him, and somehow things blew over after that. We continued seeing each other, and he assured me that the thing with the Eurasian chick was over. I never dared to ask him if there were any others, and frankly, I didn't want to know.

The Beginning of the End

There were many times when I really wanted to end it. I did.

Somewhere in the midst of our torrid relationship, I talked about him to an older friend from church, and she followed me through the rollercoaster of my on-and-off relationship with him for years.

One day, having seen me through my latest bout of tears and arguments, she sat me down, and she told me that this had to end. For real lah this time.

She knew that it wasn't going to be easy and she wanted to talk me through it lah. I had to get it into my head that this relationship was not going to end well, so I went to her place one day, and she had prepared a list of fairly confronting questions for me to answer.

It hurt to be honest, but through the pain I could see that he was wrong for me. And that this could not go on any longer.

The Post-it-ives of Breaking Up

And so, we scheduled another day - Breakup Day.

She was there with me in my living room, and I rang him up. We put him on speakerphone and the Breakup Conversation began.

It was quite funny actually - my friend sat quietly in the background, and without him knowing, her 2B pencil was furiously scribbling replies from me on Post-It notes to his every statement. It was like reading a script, you know!

You're just going through another of your phases. No, this is not a phase.
Ah, we've done this so many times before. It's different this time. It's for real this time.
Can't we at least be friends? No, I'm ending this for good.
etc.

The conversation ended. Little Post-It notes fluttered all over my living room.

The affair, too, had ended.

Or so it seemed

Unfortunately, it started with a reply to his many pleading smses. And then an e-mail. And then a phone call. And then, we got back together again.

(I know lah! It should have ended it there and then! What to do, right?)

I was honest with my older friend, though, and told her we were together again. She told me off half-jokingly for wasting all her Post-It notes!

Resolutions of the Heart

A few months later, I just woke up one day and decided that this had to end. I don't know why, but I just knew it.

So I called him lah and we argued, and then he said angrily that I was bound to capitulate and call him back within a month, and that got me really upset.

We'll see, I said.

We have not been in contact since.

Love and War

Well, as you know lah, I've just got engaged with my current boyfriend. Going to get married soon.

I found out from a friend that he got married, man, before I did! That really pisses me off.

Huh? Why?

Because it feels like he's won. The evil have prospered. I was supposed to get married before him, not the other way round!

He finally married his girlfriend of eight and a half years. She actually knew about us all along, but stuck by his side anyway.

Yeah, so there you go. My love story.

I love how multi-faceted love is sometimes, and how varied the stories we have to tell. Thank you again to my friends who have allowed me to play the role of the witness, and never the jury.

Pretty Rainbows Make Me Cry

That's me, crying. I look this sexy when I cry.

Is it okay if a guy cries? Is it okay if a guy cries watching a movie? Does the Sentimental Police need to be called, to give him a swift kick in the nuts and inject some intramuscular testosterone into him?

(/start Counterstrike sequence)

All units...*keerrrch.*... Saline noted at corner of eye.....*kerrcchh*.... Subject about to cry.... Operation No-Boo-Hoo is now in full swing! *keerch* Take him down! *keerrch* Go! Go! Go! *keerrchh*

(/end Counterstrike sequence)

Yes, I must admit, I have cried while watching movies. I have even cried watching a cartoon once. (Why did you have to die, Bugs Bunny? Why? Why? You wascally wabbit! - Okay, so in all seriousness it wasn't Bugs Bunny. I actually cried during the last episode of My Little Pony and Friends. Hahaha!)

Don't get me wrong, I don't bawl my eyes out at every movie like I was some kind of Sensitive New Age Guy; but you know how you watch a movie sometimes, and it comes to a really sad scene, and you've prepped yourself : Okay, I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to.... bwwaaahhh! Why does life have to be so sad!!

Some movies just pull at the heartstrings, and draw out the tears against your control. You try and fight it, but the saline just builds arounds the corner of the eyelids, then flood the nasal passages, and the next moment, you are crying until damn ugly, to borrow the words of Jan!

I don't often 'cry until damn ugly' at movies, in fact, I can almost list them all here (see if you agree!):
1) Crash
2) Braveheart
3) The Patriot (the scene where the little daughter runs at him and says 'Don't leave Daddy! I'll say anything!' because she didn't want him to go to war... heartbreaking)
4) Graveyard of the Fireflies (that's a Hayao Miyazaki cartoon - okay, I've just realised I've cried watching two cartoons now!)
5) Cyrano de Bergerac (the other cartoon... now I am crying in shame!)
6) The Passion of the Christ (I promised myself I wouldn't cry in the cinema. So much for that!)
7) Welcome Back, Mr. McDonald (best obscure Japanese movie ever!)
8) Dude, Where's My Car?

Okay, the last one was a joke. I only cried because it was 90 minutes of my life I will never see again.

Movie number 8 was actually this:

The irrepressible Geoffrey Rush

I have always wanted to watch this movie. Geoffrey Rush's performance as the damaged, quirky prodigy David Helfgott is unparalleled, earning this once obscure Australian actor the Oscar in 1996 for Best Actor, and he has never looked back since. This show is just beautifully crafted, and the performances all around are fantastic, especially Armin Muehller-Stahl who plays the domineering father who pushes David into his mental breakdown.

So call me soft and sentimental and all sorts of names rhyming with gay, but I will not apologise for shedding tears for movies that capture your heart and demand the investment of your emotions into them.

Random Memories: Seven Years Old

I remember watching this horrible Chinese movie on TV3 with Dad one night. I can't quite remember the title of the show, but it basically portrayed the relationship between a sickly mother-in-law with her subservient daughter-in-law .

The son had died, I think, and the relationship between the two women had soured. The mother-in-law was verbally and physically abusive towards the daughter-in-law, who bore the brunt of her wrath patiently.

The climax of the show was when the daughter-in-law made the ultimate sacrifice for the mother-in-law. The mother-in-law needed a herbal medicine to be cooked with meat in order for her health to improve. They were too poor to actually afford meat, but somehow the daughter-in-law came up with the goods.

And so there's this scene of the mother-in-law eating the soup, extremely pleased with the daughter-in-law for making the soup, but then questions her as to where she got her meat from. The daughter-in-law accepts the praise with an awkward smile, and she looks to be surpressing some pain.

The next scene cut to the back of the daughter-in-law's thighs, raw and bloody from where she had cut off bits of herself in order to give her mother-in-law the meat.

I found that scene really sad, and I was on the verge of tears. Dad, on the other hand, burst out laughing and said how the mother-in-law was an unknowing carnivore.

Eat up, Dad's cheeky smile goaded her on, but I could see the telltale gulp of his Adam's apple as Dad tried to surpress his tears in front of his seven year old son.

Road Trip Victoria: Geelong and Anglesea

Dear K,

Remember that time over the Easter weekend when we decided to go for our long drive? Well, it didn't turn out to be a very long drive after all, because by the time we rubbed sleep from our eyes, the sun was already near the peak of its travel in the sky.

The hour-plus drive brought us to the industrial town of Geelong near the sea, and we stopped by the information centre to ask for directions. You wouldn't let me have McDonald's or KFC, which is the reason many people go to Geelong.

We drove by the scenic route into the city, remember? Then we decided to get out and look at the sea. We noticed that there was a path that led down to the wooden pathway by the shore, and then a curious sight greeted us:

(Top left, going clockwise) K joining the queue to see the Wizard of Oz (she wants her boyfriend to have a brain, please); the Scottish bagpiper with nothing much to see under his painted kilt (he had wood); the photographer being photographed (I'm poetic like that); the phake phamily photographed by the phake photographer (I'm poetic like that, I told you).

There was a whole bunch of wooden mannequins beautifully painted scattered along the whole seashore. We laughed at some of them, and took some compromising photographs, which, rest assured, hon, will never make its way to the internet.

Oops.


(Top left, L-R) A serious looking policeman from the back keeps watch over the beach, ready to administer justice to criminals; only after he has his ice-cream, of course (I'm just surprised it wasn't a doughnut); K standing next to the hunky lifeguards, willing them to give her CPR with their moustached mouths; me subtly ogling some bikini clad female mannequins who have been out here sunbathing (looking pale despite being out here for the past three years); K disapproves of my obvious hamsapness, but was secretly ogling them herself.

It was cute and disturbing all at once, but it made for an interesting walk on a glorious day, didn't it, hon?

We then almost went to this place Go! for lunch (we wanted to try it because it had a quirky menu ie. 12. Froot Loops - most of our staff, really) but it was closed for the Easter weekend.

Ah well, we ended up trawling the modest city centre instead, and ended up having some savoury crepes at this restaurant:


It was crepe, wasn't it, hon?

The food was okay in a mass produced sort of way, although it would have been good to try out the sweet crepes as well. Maybe next time, hon. Maybe next time you'll listen to me and we'll go to KFC or McDonald's instead. Hahaha!

We then drove on to the beautiful little town of Anglesea, where the evening sun had brought families to play in the lake and at the beach. There were paddleboats, canoes and motorboats for hire on the lake, and although you were a little reluctant initially, I finally managed to convince you to hop into a motorboat with me, and to take the wheel:

(Top left, L-R) Canoe tell me which boat to take?; the lake before us dividing as our motorboat chugged through; K the sailor-(wo)man is strong to the finish, 'cos she eats her spinach; me looking relaxed, but actually clinging on for dear life.

Did you remember how fast the boat was, hon? Let's just say if the opening scene of a James Bond movie had him escaping from his enemies on these motorboat, it would have been a thirty-second movie.

(/start Bond movie)

JB: Don't worry, Miss Pussy Galore (best Bond Girl name, ever), we will outrun them on this motorboat.

(Boat chugs): Chugchugchug

*Villains rush to the pier, and shoot JB right between the eyes, simply by extending their arm out and placing their guns directly on his forehead*

cue credits and closing theme

(/end Bond movie)

We then wrapped up the day by walking along the hallowed glow of the Anglesea beach, hon, watching people play cricket or tossing a footy around, with some new lifeguard recruits getting training at the far end of the beach.


(From top, L-R) The surreal sky of Anglesea beach; K looking up, lighting the sky with her smile; me looking up, and for some reason I had brought my orgasm face to the beach; the very brilliantly named cafe in Four Kings.

And then our last souvenir from the day was the really good but expensive soy chai in that cafe in Four Kings, which we thought was cleverly named.

A great day out, hon, and I am glad I got to share it with you.

(P.S. We will go back and try Go! someday, okay? Or the McDonald's. I hear that's really good.)

Naturally 7 - For A Refreshing Go(o)d Time

This Good Friday, H and J invited us over to Crown Casino to watch this a cappella group, Naturally 7 .

I was the one who had introduced him to this group, coming across them one day in one of my many travels to that life-sucking wasteland which was Youtube.

To be honest, I didn't even remember this group, but H had heard them on the Hamish&Andy radio show earlier in the week, and remembered me showing him a clip about them.

The four of us then went to Crown, and I wasn't sure that this was going to be a great experience -

(/start quirky interlude, a la Ally McBeal)

Pessimistic Boy to the rescue!

To infinity, and beyond!... no, wait, infinity's too far away. And it will probably rain in infinity. And I'll probably twist my ankle going to infinity.

No, it's safer to stay here. I'll probably catch a cold here. And die.

(/end quirky interlude)

- but at the end of the day, we were all really glad we went. This is why:


Naturally 7 is not your typical a capella group, because they have created their own niche by calling it vocal play. Rather than just use their voices to sing, they become the instruments instead.

Their performances literally blew us away. They made Boyz II Men look like a bunch of sweater-knitting grandmothers.

Before the show. We were a collective puddle after.

Ranging from the early 20s to the mid 40s, all six of them (one member had to return to the States because of his father's funeral) did not show their age one bit, and were really vibrant on stage. It was well choreographed, and they were really tight vocally as well, each of them unique in their vocal talent and choice of instrument.

All of them were exceptional, but the one who drove the women (and some men, too. Okay, me included) craziest was the youngest member of the group, Armand "Hops" Hutton. He was lanky and unassuming, and stood off to one corner.

When he had a chance to speak however - Oh. My. Include Name of Deity Here.

He was the bass of the group which was surprising given how lean and tall he was.

The voice that emanated from him, however, would change your life. It was so deep that you wondered why you never saw the lightning preceding this thunder. It was so deep that you wanted to write out the Ten Commandments on two stone tablets.

This voice carried the natural frequency of your body, resonating in all the right places. This is the voice that causes bras to snap on their own accord. And panties, too.

You think I'm exaggerating.

Despite my X-rated description of him, this group was actually really good and fun to watch live, and all their songs actually have a Christian heritage to it. They were unafraid of talking about their Christian roots, without being overbearing to their audience that night.

It was a night of clean fun, and seeing how far seven men, intent on glorifying God with their God-given talent, can go.

Youtube them now!

The Boy Turned Twenty-Nine

Check out the date on this photo. I was only a few days old when I could stand up and smile and give the peace sign like a Japanese tourist. I have aged so much since then, such is the rigours of life in Australia.

I just want to say that I have been really blessed and spoilt this birthday, and that I have been given truly above and beyond what I deserve. I want to thank everyone who has been there to celebrate the last year of my 20th decade, before I venture next year into the vast wilderness that is the 30s. (As you can see, I remain true to my melodramatic roots!)

To those who couldn't be there, thank you for your wishes as well, and for those who are going "Oh shoot, I'd better send him that sms right now!" please be reassured that our friendship and love extends far beyond the pettiness of a missed birthday. :)

Allow me then, to give you a glimpse of the celebrations this year:

We had steamboat over at Hawch's place, which is always a guaranteed fun night out regardless of the occasion. I was actually quite hungry coming into the dinner, and what a glorious spread it was!

Angus was his normal overfriendly self that night, and let's just say he licked K in the most inappropriate places (much to my mock jealousy) and Hawch pretended to have trained him to do so! Hahaha! See the kind of wonderful friends I have!

The steamboat itself was really good, and we overestimated, as usual. We sat down to a session of Wii/Magic (the Gathering) card playing while waiting for midnight, by which time we had vacated enough space for K's amazing white chocolate strawberry cheesecake!

Best. Cheesecake. Ever. Seriously.

A quick performance from my flu-ridden brother, who sang despite his cold (A for effort!) and a really cool gift to follow!

hK finally gets his first digital camera! hK doesn't know what to do with his first digital camera!

It was a beautiful Canon one with image stabiliser, and I was quick to use it! This will really come in useful for a long time to come! Hugs to all for a great night and a cool gift!

This was Sunday night, and my birthday proper was on Monday. K and I were planning a long drive away as she had Monday off, but we decided to take it easy instead, as we had a very late night on Sunday. We went to Mart for lunch and ate well before taking a walk along St Kilda Beach.

Monday night was a little celebratory dinner at the Italian, quite a fancy restaurant which looked nothing like how K and W remember it to be, but the ambience was nice and the food was good! My brother and I decided to dress up for the occasion:

Surprise! Hahaha!

Ah yes, a wonderful 29th birthday indeed. A wonderful thanks to all those who made this a memorable one!

I am loved, and for that, I am thankful.

M.: Four Nights Only

"We had a smattering of rain yesterday," I said.

"Yeah, just enough to get the cars dirty," she laughed.

"Honestly, I had to look for the windshield wiper," another taxi driver confessed.

It was a brilliant four nights up in a country town where I lived by the wisdom of the local cab drivers and had to keep vigil overnight in the ED of the hospital.



This small town at the border was built by Canadians, or so they tell me. Two Canadian brothers initially came to develop a town, but soon had to leave due to the scarcity of rainfall and water.

It was only when the wonders of irrigation were revealed to them that they realised that they had a solution to their woes - this town sat right next to the Murray river, and would supply all the water they needed. With this knowledge in hand, they returned to the dusty lands of M., and started redeveloping. Two hundred years later, and this town now sits on a population of thirty to forty thousand, and is still growing.

I didn't have the pleasure and was not afforded the time to travel around, but what little I have seen makes me curious enough to want to return.

This town, born out of ingenuity in a land normally uninhabitable; where the endless horizons below are as vacant as the skies above it - it's calling to me.