Love Languages

Love Language No. 4: Gifts

Can you remember any of the gifts that you have received in your lifetime which you have treasured?

It could be a seashell that you were given by someone as you were on a beach holiday. Or maybe a friend made you that CD all those years ago. Or even a flower someone bought for you or picked for you ten years ago.

If you remember the flowers, then your love language may be gifts. If you still have the flowers, then your love language is gifts. If you still have the flowers preserved in formaldehyde from the day you were given them, then your love language is definitely gifts, (and please don't hurt me).

Some people respond to gifts tremendously. You will see it in their faces - their eyes light up, the smile is sincere, they get really excited and most importantly, years later, they will suddenly bring up the fact that you bought them something a looong time ago.

If your partner's complaint is "You never buy me anything nice anymore!" that's a pretty big clue what their love language probably is.

The gifts do not need to be expensive. They need to be very expensive. Hahaha!

The most important thing is the thought that has gone on behind the gift.

You take notice of the person's favourite musician and buy them a CD from that artiste.
You bake 231 minicupcakes which they'll never get to try because you're in Sydney, and he's in Melbourne.
You buy someone's favourite cookie or biscuits while you're at the supermarket.
You buy someone an exciting Hello Kitty keychain for their boring car keys.
You give someone a book or DVD that they've been dying to read/watch but can't afford at the moment.
You cook someone a dish they've been dying to eat for a long time.
And then they actually die from eating your dish.

But seriously, it is the thoughtfulness that is important. A thoughtless gift may actually serve to offend the person whose love language is gifts.

Learning how to speak this language will also benefit you in your creativity in thinking up gifts for someone, and will also teach you to observe others and serve them in that way.

So, is this your primary love language?

Random Memories: It Is Better To Give

He thinks about it now, and wonders why he never saw it earlier. He was staying with a previous housemate, a really nice guy from Penang.

As all good housemates do, they had a falling out. Big time, and both parties were affected for a good long time.

But he remembers the happier days, especially during his birthdays, where he was given some of the best gifts ever. Two tickets to an awesome John Mayer concert. The guitar that sits in his bedroom with the sticker JOHN MAYER Musical Sound on it. All gifts which involved a lot of thoughtfulness.

And he never really gave in return.

He wonders if gifts are actually his primary love language, something he had assumed all along. Sure, he loved giving thoughtful gifts occasionally, but it required a whole lot of thinking before he recalls the gifts that he has been given in his lifetime.

And he wonders if things between him and his former housemate would have been different had he learnt to speak his housemate's love language earlier.