Where Will This Heart Go?

He stares at the blips on the screen, sitting by her side, holding the hand of this woman who was someone else's mother. His other hand rests gently on her hair.

She looks worried. This was her first surgery in a long time, and she was afraid - she didn't speak much English, and many things could go wrong in theatre. How was she going to tell anyone then?

She can't feel a thing - the spinal anaesthetic had done it's job, but it was still disconcerting for her. Having a spinal meant that she would be awake for the surgery.

Hearing all the knocking and banging going on behind the green sterile screen didn't help as well, knowing that someone was drilling into her knee and chipping away at it with a sawblade - while not feeling a thing - that was surreal and scary all at once.

The skin between her eyebrows were furrowed with wrinkles from years of worrying. They deepened everytime he took his hand away from her head. Her grip on his other hand tightens with every noisy buzz of the saw.

She would require intermittent doses of medications to relax her, but they would wear off, and he tries his best to distract her.

"Senora, maybe you can teach me to count in Italian," he suggests.

"Okay," she says. "Uno, due, trie, quatro, cinque..."

"Uno, due, trie, quatro, cinque," he mimics.

"Seht, sehte, otto, nuove, deyes," she continues.

"Seht, sehte, ot..."

"Much longer, doctor?" she interjects abruptly. Her brows furrowed a bit more. "How many minuts? Five minuts? Ten minuts? "

"No, not much longer," he tells a white lie. "... otto, nuove, deyes! Now what's eleven?"

He learns to count to twenty ("venti") and learns the parts of the face (occhi, nasa, moca, lingua) but his distractions were only temporary before her mind would return to the reality of her operation.

"They're putting the stitches in your skin now, senora. Not much longer." It doesn't reassure her much, she wishes she could jump off the operating table and just go home.

He counts under his breath - "Uno, due, trie, quatro, cinque, seht, sehte, otto, nuove, deyes, undishi..." he hesitates.

"Diedishi, tredishi, quatrodishi, quindishi..." she continues.

"Alright, senora, all done!" The green screen falls and everyone in the theatre scrambles to pack up the rest of the things as they wrap her leg in a bandage and put it in a splint.

"Thanks you everybody," she gushes, relieved. "Thanksyou! God er... look-er for you, because, you er... look-er for me..."

He wheels her to recovery, hands her over to the nurse there, and walks back to the theatre slowly, his hand pensively brushing the surgical cap on his head.

He feels more fulfilled right now than he has all week, and wonders whether anaesthetics would still be the right choice for him.

Surfing Youtube (So You Don't Have To): Part 7

This will be my last post with regards to this series. Exams will be drawing to a close soon, and you will have enough time to waste going through the millions of videos on Youtube to pick your own favourite! And I think I would like to go back to some honest writing.

My final theme will be the one closest to my (and indeed most of our) heart(s): home.

Nothing makes you yearn more for the comforts of home, of familiarity as when you're facing exams... I know that for a fact. Try ringing home during the exam period - the international diallers will be filled with homesick students longing for a friendly voice during their time of tribulation and isolation.

What is it about our homeland that we miss? The familiar sights and places, the smells emanating from the hawker stalls or mum's kitchen, the sounds of a vibrant city that has forgotten how to sleep, the touch of a friend carrying years of shared experiences, the soothing voice of a loved one.

Music has played a large part in this nostalgia, and although Malaysia has made some really painful/awful patriotic songs (think Suka I.T. (Love I.T.) and the English translation for that fitness campaign ('Together! Pump iron and let's go to jogging!'), there have been good ones as well... if you start singing the words 'Puji dan syukur pada Ilahi...' you will almost certainly get a smile from your fellow Malaysian and they will start chiming in with the next line. Sejahtera Malaysia is actually quite well loved by all Malaysians!

In the time of turmoil and uncertainty back home, it has been a call to arms by the recording artistes in Malaysia who have united to bring us this wonderful song:


Cheesy and cool all at once! Kind of like a Malaysia 'We Are The World!' Wait for the rapping bit!

The Malay guy who raps the English part was actually a batchmate of mine back in IMU! He has gone on to successfully pursue a recording career with his Teh Tarik Crew... wayyy cooler than being in medicine, in my honest opinion!

And then for all you Singaporeans, I must say that in my one and a half years there, this was one of the prettier homesongs that stuck with me:


Hah! You thought it was Majulah Singapura, didn't you? I still don't understand why the Singaporean national anthem is in Malay!

But in this adopted home of ours, the nostalgia is not lacking. This next clip was voted one of the best Australian ads of all time. It is epic, uplifting and involves an Australian symbol. If not for Waltzing Matilda, this is the next great Aussie anthem:


Look at all the cute kiddies, more well travelled than I will ever be!

While looking around for these clips, I found one that combined the second and third clip... it's really cute!

Home. A lifetime of memories and love in four little alphabets.

Watching Bad Movies (So You Don't Have To)

You can thank me now for saving your hard-earned/saved $16: Don't watch this movie.

Uh, uh, uh.... is that protest I hear from your lips? No.

Don't watch this movie.



The tag line for the new poster reads: Don't Look For An Answer. It's Already Too Late.

Unfortunately, in invisible ink was the third and fourth lines to that tag phrase: You've Already Paid For The Movie. It's Not Refundable.

For the man who brought us The Sixth Sense (classic), Unbreakable (I really liked it), Signs (okay, not my favourite but still watchable) and Village (not bad), he has brought us some duds like Lady in the Water and this latest effort (I'm sorry, what's the opposite of effort?) The Happening.

I should have known it. With a title like "The Happening". Badly written, badly directed, and ununderstandable (yes, it deserves a new word. Or maybe the two negatives cancel out and it becomes derstandable.), this movie makes Dude, Where's My Car? look like Memento.

It is scary in parts but mostly lazy, and even the quality of the film made Sunday afternoon television movies look like big budget productions. The acting was poor, undermined by a script that was incoherent and unbelievable.

And the big twist at the end? You find out...



... that you actually paid sixteen dollars to watch this.

Somewhere far away in Hollywoodland, Mr. Shyamalan is laughing.

At one point, he was tipped to direct The Life of Pi. Don't you dare, Mr. Shyamalan.

Surfing Youtube (So You Don't Have To): Part 6

When life deals you lemons, make lemonade.
- Dale Carnegie

This is a remarkable artiste with no arms - Mark Goffeney, who has his own band, strangely (yet, aptly) named Big Toe.

I thought he was amazing, because pressing the strings with your toes is really a lot harder than it looks... I have trouble pressing it with my hands sometimes!

But this next clip is far more amazing. Ignore your lack of Cantonese. You will gasp in awe.

To everyone who feels hard done by this world at this moment, be it at work, or with the stresses of assignments and examinations, just remember that you can get through this.

There is no gene for the human spirit.

Surfing Youtube (So You Don't Have To): Part 5

I was sitting down watching SBS one day and they were showing short stories from around the world. This one stayed with me for awhile.

Watch it alone.

Let me know what you think.

Surfing Youtube (So You Don't Have To): Part 4

The two most important things in life to a Liverpudlian: The Beatles and Liverpoolfc. Now brought to you in one video.

Fans of the club will recognise the magical Champions League Final of 2005.

What I would like to draw your attention to, though is Sean "Shhean" Connery's interpretation of this song which is my all time favourite Beatles' song.

The Beatles have a special place in the hearts of our family because a lot of nostalgia tied in with their songs. When we were much younger, we would have annual car trips up to Penang, and music in the car was a must - we spent many hours listening to Nana Moskouri, ABBA and especially, the Beatles.

I first heard this version when a high school friend of mine, who was more into the music scene, dug up this CD called GeorgeMartinInMyLife. It was quite a brilliant CD, with reworks of famous Beatles' songs by contemporary musicians and non musicians alike. It was a talented cast which included Jim Carrey, Robin Williams, Vanessa Mae, Celine Dion, Goldie Hawn and John Williams.

My top three favourites in the album were Goldie Hawn singing a very cute, sex-kitten version of A Hard Day's Night, John Williams' brilliant classical guitar take on Here Comes The Sun, and it was Sean Connery's pensive, wistful delivery of In My Life that absolutely floored me.

The only other song to have floored me in recent years have been this re-interpretation:

Joni Mitchell's Both Sides, Now which was a reinterpretation of her Both Sides Now when she was younger. The younger version had a more naive, doe-eyed Joni Mitchell strumming on her guitar, giving it an upbeat hippie feel to it.

But this version, some thirty years later, is laden with emotion, and has an appropriately melancholic feel to it. Joni Mitchell, a little older and a lot more experienced, had earned the right to redo her song, with empathy this time. The cover to her album almost defines the mood:
Cigarette in one hand, wine glass within reach of the other, reflecting on a life flown by. This will be me next year.

The use of the song in Love Actually to supplement the role of the stoic, tormented wife played to standing-ovation perfection by Emma Thompson was a masterstroke of genius.

It's life's illusions I recall.
I really don't know life.
I really don't know life, at all.

Surfing Youtube (So You Don't Have To): Part 3

For all you lovers of independent undiscovered balladeers, may I introduce to you, Alex Wong and Vienna Teng.

They are performing at Eddie's Attic in Georgia, USA, which, I think, may be a pub or a restaurant where local music talents perform. This song has cute written all over it.

It was also here in Eddie's Attic where this little known Georgian talent started:

JM returning the favour years later after making it big here.

Enjoy!

P.S. Does anyone know whether there's a storage limit on Blogspot? I mean, these videos are fun, but I don't want to run out of space for the other more important things!