Deconstructing Me

I guess it has been quite a difficult few weeks for me. It almost seems like I've lost my identity in the past few weeks. I have been wrapped in a coccoon of denial this past year, but one by one the silk wrappings are being picked at, unravelled, and I realise now that there's still so much more to learn about myself.

'Who am I?'

'How did I get here?'

'Where am I going?'

The first two questions are already really tough questions to answer. What's more disconcerting, however, is that I have no answer for the third one.

It is times like these that I sometimes marvel at my parents. I mean, surely they didn't struggle with all these pretentious questions. Their priorities and mindsets were different - fall in love, get married, have children, work hard for yourself and the kids, retire and enjoy it.

I don't know if Pa ever struggled with the future at my age. I'm sure he did, but he put his head down, and kept pushing to the finish line. I wish I could be the man he was at my age, rather than, as my brother aptly puts it, a high school kid with a job.

' I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is! I love him Laurel, I... love him! '

-Dorothy Boyd, as played by Renee Zellweger, Jerry Maguire 1996-

At what point does a person become an adult?