How To Be A Gentleman.

So, you want to be a gentleman, you say? Well done, old sport! Let's get right down to it, shall we?

For this exercise, you will need:

1. A top hat.

2. A walking stick, preferably black. Not that your legs need it right, old chap. Just a little something to swing as you walk. Lends a bit of class, don't you know.

3. A monocle.

4. A handlebar moustache. Preferably bleached white, if you are not yet of the suitable age.

5. A tuxedo with coat tails.

Put it all together, and if you are doing it right you should look a little something like this:

Yippee! I'm a mother father gentleman!

 or this:

I'm gonna kill him with my
umbrella-ella-ella-ella.

Okay, so that wasn't the point of this post at all, although you could do all of the above if you wanted to (and build some houses on Regent Street and Park Lane, or, try and kill Batman). 

I am glad that we have arrived at a day and age where women have gained more equality and independence in most developing or developed societies. Although there is still much to be done, I'd like to believe we have come a long way in a few short decades, thanks to the advent of feminism, and well, common sense. 

I have seen one case of extreme feminism, however. I had offered to pay for a girl's coffee the first time I met her. She took offense at my buying her a coffee, and asked me aggressively 'Why? You think I can't pay for my own coffee, issit?'

Whoa, slow down there, Destiny's Child. I'm just paying for your coffee. I later found out that she had dated a lot of men, who were, let's just say, scrubs, to use another African-American term. Men who leeched off her, where she was chauffeuring them everywhere and paying for their meals.

In saying that, however, I'd like to believe that there is still a place in society for the gentleman, the man who would still treat ladies with valor and extend some common courtesy to them. So here's a few pointers to how to behave in a gentlemanly fashion:-

1. Open the door for her and let her walk through first. Seriously, it's not that hard. I think walking through doors without being considerate of your lady friend is poor form. Especially if you swing the door close behind you as she is walking through it. The date ends right there.

2. Pull the chair out for her at the restaurant. But not from beneath her as she tries to sit down. (I'm looking at you, Psy).

I personally don't think that this is necessary in our day and age somehow. Like really, awkward even. If I were a girl, and a guy pulled out a chair for me, I would smile to myself and think 'Oh, what a... serial killer.'  

3. Pay for her meal. Okay, I know that a lot of guys (and girls, as shown from the example before) have a lot of different opinions about this. 

Maybe you want to do it because it's the first few dates and you want to impress her. Maybe you want to go Dutch because you think that's fair. Maybe you want her to pay for you because you don't want a second date. Make your own minds up about this one. I just think some girls appreciate the gesture of a guy picking up the tab for the meal. 

4. Drink your tea with your pinky sticking out when you hold your cup. Preferably without a teabag dangling from the finger. 

5. Walk into the path of oncoming traffic for her. I learnt this one from a girl I used to like back in my university days in Malaysia. She said that one of the great examples she has seen of a guy being a gentleman was a boy who would gently hold her by the arm, always standing on the side between her and oncoming vehicles as they crossed the road. It made her feel safe and cared for.

Oh, sure I have been knocked down a few times in the process, but hey, it was worth it.

6. Make sure she gets into her house safely if you are sending her home. This one I learnt from my friend in college. I used to drop my dates back at their houses after a great night out and speed off into the night, without even a backward glance. Not a good look. Wait for her to get into the house first.

Or better still, follow her into her house. 

(Now, now, everyone knows that real gentlemen don't follow ladies into their homes.

They wait for the parents to leave first.)

All right, old chap. You should have everything you need to win her heart, or get off to a stirring start at least.  Good luck now!