Saturday, January 5, 2013

The Karen vs Heng Khuen Cookie Bake-Off

I remember it was the Champion's League final of 2005 and we had gathered in our pastor's house to watch Liverpool stage an improbable comeback to be the champions of Europe for a fifth time. We were all gathered there - a group of boys enjoying a moment of camraderie over what was a Malaysian's and Singaporean's favorite past time - watching some one else's nation play soccer.

Apart from that stirring match, what I remembered distinctly was his lovely wife wanting to make us feel at home, and effortlessly baking us cookies and scones to eat while we watched the match. Nothing parallels the smell of freshly baked pastry wafting through the house. Absolutely nothing.

I was remarking to Karen the other day, after she had slaved in the kitchen to make us a wonderful dinner, my memories of that night, and how 'easy it was to bake cookies'.

[Public Service Announcement: How to Have A Happy Marriage: A Guide for Aspiring Husbands Wanting a Long and Happy Marriage.] 

1. Surprise her with flowers, for no particular reason. If ever money was to buy happiness, this would be it.
2. Apologise first, and apologise often. Find out later what it is you've actually done wrong.

3. Never ever say how easy it is do anything. Not cooking. Not cleaning. Not giving birth. Ever.]

The gauntlet was thrown. I believe the exact words were 'You think it's so easy to bake, you bake lah!'

So tonight, was the official Karen vs Heng Khuen bake-off.

Since this was my first time, I was given the handicap of using a pre-mix while Karen, being the Domestic Goddess(tm) that she is, makes hers from scratch.

Well, I'll let the pictures do the talking:

And we're off! That's my pre-mix in the bowl with egg and butter
ready to go while Tortoise Karen is still measuring her ingredients slowly....*yawn*
Left: Heng Khuen the Hare springs into action, about to show the cookie mix who's boss.
Right: Heng Khuen the Hare realises that he should perhaps listen to instructions and soften the butter first.
An early setback! D'ough!

Left: Hand mixing the cookie dough melts the butter quicker! He's back in it to win it!
Right: Karen's cookie dough, looking all perfect and stuff. Hmmph! No matter!
The oven will be kind to me! (or I will leave a horse's head in its bed)

Top left: My cookie dough looks like tumors. Delicious cookie cancers.
Top right: Well, look who's all Famous Amos now.
Bottom row: The battle lines are drawn! 

Top: Here we go, oven! Be kind! (I have your family hostage....)
Bottom: The finished products. Time for...

The taste test!
Top left: Victory has never tasted so sweet!
Top right: A trip to the dentist has never tasted so sweet!
Bottom: Winners are grinners! (
as are cheaters. you with your Domestic Goddess(tm) powers!

Ah well. In all spirit of good kitchen sportsmanship, congratulations on beating me, Karen Yuting Poh.

Next time. I will replace your chocolate chips with pebbles.


Jonnevie Muñoz said...

Hahaha haha wow how did I stumble across this??! Heng Khuen u are a hoot and a half. Love your writing! =D

mellowdramatic said...

Ahaha! Thanks for reading Jonnevie! You will be rewarded with oddly shaped cookies the next time I bake them!