Monday, August 30, 2010

Begging to Differ

I am a ghost.

I haunt the city in the day time, walking through the weekend crowd. Rubbing shoulders with the busy, busy living people living their busy,busy lives.

They look into their purses for money to pay for the groceries they’re buying, they’re sitting around the food court tables laughing over their sandwiches and sushi. They are looking into their bags, searching with their eyes for the train ticket that will bring them to their two o’clock appointment.

I have nowhere to go, and no one expecting me there.

You don’t see me. You don’t see me as I walk over to the half-finished food you have left on your food court tables. You don’t see me as I grab hungrily at the remains of your lunch; the thought of tasting a stranger’s saliva overpowered by the gnawing hunger in my stomach.

I wander the library halls and use their toilets. This is the only warm place that will let me in. The security guards catch me sleeping in there and tell me off. I look at them emptily, as they weren't up the whole night shivering in the cold.

I come out occasionally to scare the living. I lift my voice and ask if you have some change to spare, or five dollars for a pack of cigarettes. You do not hear me, you do not see me, but you are afraid of me, and your feet walk a little faster.

I am already dead. You just don’t know it yet.



(observations on a Saturday afternoon at the State Library)

6 comments:

Nicole said...

hey heng khuen...long time no come to your blog..how you doing over there???

and by the way, those beggars do earn quite a lot of money...:)

mellowdramatic said...

Yeah, good! Long time no blog either 'cos studying for exams! Trying to write again but my inspiration/muse has taken some time to warm up!

Hmmm... I'm not sure that beggars do earn a lot of money, you know... I have read somewhere before that they do in Malaysia (over a few thousand ringgit a month?) but I can't be sure... Maybe can do research as a beggar!

Nicole said...

:) studying for exam? specialising in something? atleast your blog is more updated than mine...:)

i have a friend who went to ask a beggar begging at sydney pitt st mall....yearly income.....$55K tax free :)

mellowdramatic said...

Yeah... studying for the Emergency Physician primary exams...

You haven't updated your blog in awhile, yeah!

Looks like maybe I should be specialising to be a beggar instead, eh? 55 grand a year!

Nicole said...

haha you become beggar? crazy....

yeah my blog is definately being neglected big time..no time? haha

by the way I'm heading down to Melbourne for work in November...you going to be around?

mellowdramatic said...

Wah, your royal highness is gracing us with your presence finally ah?

Sounds good! If you're here for a few days, hopefully I should have one or two days off then! Then I'll show you where the real Malaysian food is! :)