Anatomy Of A Chinese Wedding (II)

Beep! Beep! BeEeepPPPP! BEEPPPpppPP! BEEEPPPP! BEEEPPP!!

It sounds like irate drivers on a highway in rush hour traffic, but the sound is highly alien in the setting of the small roads of this little taman. The guests look up from their catered meals and smile when they see who it is.

The bride and the groom have both arrived in the wedding car, and have come over for the second most important event in a Chinese wedding - the tea ceremony.

The tea ceremony, or the chum cha is a very important tradition in Chinese weddings. It is both a symbol of respect for the elders, and the couple seeking their blessings for their union.

The tea ceremony almost equates to an officiation of the marriage, as parents (and my grandmother) will often sigh wistfully when their unmarried children take forever to get married, sparking the phrase "Ngo kei si yam tak san po cha ah?" ("When will I ever get to drink the tea of my daughter/son-in-law?") (Lei yau pai tang lah, po po!)


(From top, left to right)
The wedding car. Typically a classy luxury car, like the Mercedes Benz or BMW. Typically, as well, with two soft toys hanging on for dear life (look how frightened Mickey and Minnie are) for the rest of the day, signifying the couple's desire for cruelty to soft toys.
There was food for the guests all the way from yesterday night until this afternoon. There is always curry chicken as well, symbolic of a spicy marriage. (Okay, so I made that one up). Notice the tables and canopies especially erected for the occasion.

The guests stand in respect as the bride and bridegroom make their way out of the car into the house. They are not alone, however, and are being led by the kam jie (the Chinese wedding specialist). These kam jie are like the aunties you always want at your wedding, - loud, shameless and funny enough to brighten up any occasion.

She leads the way into the home, uttering blessings in Hokkien all the way, ensuring that the married couple walks into the fragrance of her words. The kam jie is also an adept tea pouring machine - preparing all the cups and tea for the bridegroom's family for the ceremony.

So this is how it works - anyone older than the couple gets served tea while seated in front of the standing couple. This includes grandfathers, your parents, every separate uncle and auntie (all twenty of them), your older cousins and siblings, your neighbour and the dog who is older than you by virtue of its one years being equivalent to our seven human years.

(I'm kidding about the dog. They don't like tea.)

While giving the tea, the young couple will have to say "(Insert relationship to you here ie. Mum, second maternal uncle, third paternal aunt) please drink this tea." This is an acknowledgement of being now included in the family and taking on your spouses' relatives as your own.

In return, the older relatives give you ang paus - red packets filled with money, and sometimes, gold trinkets, if you're lucky - a symbolic gesture of their blessing and goodwill towards you and your new husband/wife. (With the right pawnbrokers, suddenly the wedding doesn't seem so expensive to the young couple anymore. Hahaha!)



And then it is the newlyweds turn to sit down and give out ang paus to all those younger than them. The kids in turn will have to acknowledge the newlyweds as their new uncle/aunt before they are rewarded with ang paus themselves. The kids will then run to a quiet corner and rip open the red packets, with their newfound wealth, their eyes crazy, their lips snarling "Myyyy preecccioouss....." (Yes, kids are like little Gollums.)

Soon the tea ceremony ends, and the family gathers around for photographs with the newest additions to their household.

The tea ceremony is peformed in both the bride and bridegroom's families separately, and is a simple yet beautiful ceremony signifying the marriage of not only the husband and wife, but of their inclusion into each other's families as well.