In that short period of time that I returned, I managed to attend two weddings on two consecutive nights, one a boisterous Indian wedding on a Saturday night and the other a classy Chinese affair on a Sunday night.
Having prepared for my own wedding myself last year, I know how stressful organising wedding dinners can be. Amidst all the worries about the catering, and the decorations, and the venue hire - and the other million things that you wished you hired a wedding planner for - there are subtler, even more sinister things to consider - the wedding seating arrangement.
This auntie doesn't get along with that uncle, so they shouldn't be seated together. This friend slept with the other guy's girlfriend a long time ago - separate tables. This church member has asked not to be seated next to this other church member due to an incident a long time ago which neither has forgiven the other for yet.
All this rubbish and long standing ill-feeling start to surface during the seating planning for weddings. We tread carefully because we want everyone to have a good time and fond memories of what is meant to be the happiest day of our life.
Which I think is a load of bullshit, excuse the language. Why can't we all be adults and lay down our stupid guns, and for one day make peace and rise above our petty selves, and celebrate the day for what it is - the joyful union of two loving individuals who are our friends, and family.
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Weddings are also interesting milestones in our lives. I say this not only because weddings are important events in themselves, but also because they are a chance to take stock of our lives. Drawing up the wedding invitation list can be quite a confronting and anxiety-inducing experience as you soon come to the realisation that you are no longer the popular person that you once thought yourself to be.
As we accelerate through this life, our circle of friends grow tighter. We no longer have the community of a school to draw a hundred friends from, we have moved on beyond the cliques of college years, and we no longer belong to a large Scout troop or a soccer team.
We keep a professional distance at work and a personal distance at church as we become more and more selective of which friends we truly keep through the years as our time becomes scarcer with the realities of work, and distance, especially for those who have moved overseas.
We sometimes struggle to think how many friends we truly have in the end as invitation after invitation seemingly gets rejected as we prepare for the wedding. Where were all these bravado promises of the youth that we would be friends forever, we would take a bullet for the other person, when now we can't even take time off work to be there during the most important day of their lives?
The more idealistic among us will begin to question friendships that were supposedly lifelong when a friend tells us that they are not able to make it to our wedding. The more realistic and easygoing among us will know that our friendship has evolved over distance and time, and that, in the end, it is okay, c'est la vie, our friendship will survive the blips of forgotten birthdays and broken childhood promises and unattended weddings.
