Close Encounters in Melbourne

Had a great catch up with a friend tonight who was here from NSW for a conference. Unfortunately, he had a busy schedule and we could only catch up around midnight, so I brought him to Oldtown Kopitiam in QV.

I had not heard from him for about eight years now, so it was good to see where life had taken us and how we had both grown up in ourselves and our relationships as well.

At around 1 am we decided to go for a spontaneous tour of the city of Melbourne. It was wonderful walking in the city in Saturday twilight, and I had forgotten how magical the city could be at night.

We gazed up at the imposing fluorescent-lit cathedrals, dodged the drunken late night revellers and walked past the post-party queues at KFC. There was a busking band playing Latin music on Swanston Street and a group of people had started spontaneously dancing along.

I showed him Fed Square and Flinders St station, and we saw the upside down neon ice-cream cone that was the National Arts Centre in the distance.

I walked him back to the hotel, and then we said our goodbyes, promising to catch up again soon(er than the eight years it had taken us to catch up this time).

As I turned the corner away from the hotel, I lifted up the hood of my jacket over my head. I exhaled - hands in both pockets - and then steeled myself to take on the treacherous road home through Melbourne's CBD.

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You must be thinking, what on earth are you talking about, Heng Khuen? Melbourne's a safe city!

So I thought until I heard this story a couple of weeks ago where a travelling friend-of-a-friend's was mugged by two guys in front of the State Library while he had gone to get some kebabs from Stalactites.

All he wanted was some supper, and he ended up $500 poorer (he had only brought cash for his short trip) and a Welcome-to-Melbourne, Please-Come-Again bruise to his left eye while trying to fight off his assailants.

And so it was with this story fresh in my mind that I quickly paced through the streets of Melbourne by night. I kept to the brightly lit areas, tried to stay where there were crowds, and sussed out whoever was walking my way. I followed my gut instinct - couples are usually safe, groups of friends with at least one girl in it are safe and girls are safe. Beware the lone male or a group of two.

I had made it past Russell Street, walked down Bourke, and made my way past the Latin buskers on the opposite side of Swanston Street. It was a wonderfully festive atmosphere - the music was infectious and the dancing group had now increased three-fold.

I afforded myself a little smile at how people were having a great time enjoying Melbourne on this beautiful Saturday night. The air was carefree and footloose.

It was at this exact moment when I approached the Swanston St Church of Christ on a quiet corner of Little Lonsdale Street.

I caught the eye of this big Caucasian guy loitering there with who I assumed was his girlfriend. It took me all of two seconds to realize that his 'girlfriend' was actually a skinny male with a hood over his head. My guard, which had been let down just a second ago, leapt up immediately.

My Spidey senses screamed out as the fat guy made a nod in my direction, and the both of them suddenly sprung from their relaxed positions and walked purposefully towards me. I picked up my pace, leapt onto the kerb and walked as fast as I could towards the nearest people about twenty metres in front of me.

I was about an arm's length away from them, and heard the skinny one say 'Damn, a jumper,' whatever that meant, but I sure as hell didn't hang around to ask.

I waited nervously on the corner of La Trobe St, my heart racing, looking out of the corner of my eyes to see if they had followed me. Luckily for me, their pursuit had ended as quickly as it had begun.

It wasn't until I got home when I could finally breathe a sigh of relief again; hearing the door lock behind me, keeping the city at bay for one more night.

Whether true or perceived, I must say this encounter has shaken me. I'd like to believe that it was not mere coincidence but Providence that I had heard the story the other day, and had been more vigilant tonight.

A split second too late, and this story may have very well ended differently.

Kung Fu Panda 2: A Movie of Awesomeness!

Went with Karen to watch my second favoritest movie of the year after X-Men: First Class - the irrepressible Jack Black reprising his role in Kung Fu Panda 2. This was a fun-filled movie for the whole family, with laugh out loud comedy and also touching scenes that brought you to the brink of tears.

(Okay, so I cried. Uncontrollably.)

(Like a real man.)

It was one of the better 3D experiences I've had this year as well - breathtaking scenery, in-your-face action and a clever use of artistry to display flashback scenes.

I have never heard Karen belly-laugh so frequently at a movie, which is a good indication of how good it was!

Go watch it in the cinema!

Random Memories: Fourteen Years Old - Not The Karate Kid (aka Wax On, Face Off)

It was a very exciting Saturday in my school. It was the inter-school Interact Club meeting, and we know that all boys join the Interact Club for only one reason - a chance to meet girls!

Being an all-boys school meant that girls were a rare treat (okay, so we had the sixth form girls, but they were four years ahead of me at that time, and I didn't have the necessary cougar-taming skills required back then).

We were all dressed in our whitest shoes, our olive-greenest trousers and carried our winningest smiles that day.

It was an amazing day - we were split up into groups for discussions, and I was finally in a classroom with - gasp - girls! I was so excited I almost forgot to breathe.

The day was going well, with me talking to my friends trying to look important while peering out of the corner of my eye to see if a girl was checking out my extra olive green pants today.

I was walking up the stairs with a friend out of the canteen during a break, when I noticed two sky blue-pinafore uniformed girls approaching. This was my chance to impress! I talked a little louder and gesticulated a little more with my hands, not noticing the step as I tripped over it and landed right on. my. ass.

My friend stood over me, just as surprised as I was. The girls had stopped to look. It took me all of two seconds to recover from my stunned surprise/embarrassment and so I decided to do the most cool thing I knew then - do a judo leap from my supine position up to a standing position, and then walk away as the girls stared in awe and clapped in wonder.

Clap, I tell you!

So with all my years of judo training, I...oh wait a minute. I have never had any judo training. In fact, I've never had any kind of training. Not even brain training.

Which would explain why my attempts to get up looked something like a miserable tortoise trying to get back on all fours again after falling onto its shell.

My friend stood over me as my legs were flailing in the air trying to make some contact with the ground. His concerned look was somewhere between "What the hell are you trying to do, Heng Khuen?" and "Oh my gosh! He's having a seizure! Someone grab a spoon to ram into his mouth before he bites his tongue!"

It was only by the fourth spoon did I finally decide that my kung-fu leap back to coolness was a stupid idea, and I finally stopped kicking around like I was possessed. I calmly stood up, dusted my self off, gave the step my best disapproving "You've won the battle, but I will win the war!" look, and then walked off past the two giggling girls, my head held high, my friend laughing as he caught up with me.

I certainly taught that step a lesson, and I am sure it will think twice before tripping the next fat fourteen-year-old boy that crossed its path.

Ah, my mortal enemy. We meet again.